Once, a former love shared with me a question. Who would I be without my sensuality and s!xuality? He expressed a melancholy belief that this essence merely led to emptiness.
In the wake of his words, I found myself immersed in contemplation— hurt & questioning.
Who am I, stripped of sensuality and s!xuality? Was that the entirety of my being? An identity I had woven for myself, now unraveling.
Embracing my identity as a sensual woman, I’ve witnessed a profound transformation over the past year. The conclusion of my journey as a tantric masseuse marked a crucial moment, altering my perception of what it means to embody sensuality. A profession devoted to guiding others into their pleasure, I now release it with gratitude. Pleasure, a healing force too often underestimated, and permission, a gift we withhold from ourselves. I leave this topic of pleasure for another day.
Sensuality exceeds the realms of pleasure and s!x; it exists in the in-between spaces—the uncharted territories within ourselves. It manifests as the silent dance of energy, expressed through emotions, impulses, sounds, and steps.
In these moments, where discomfort resides and emotions surface, sensuality serves as a guide. An invitation for integration, self-awareness, and growth.
My senses become a channel for awakening—I permit tears in moments of pain, I acknowledge the love my heart longs for and the resistance it builds, and grant my body the comfort it seeks in rest.
To love profoundly is to grieve deeply.
Sensuality, I’ve discovered, embodies a grace—a grace such as found in the rituals of morning prayer, the aroma of incense wafting through the apartment, and the deliberate stretch that acknowledges the vitality of each limb.
Yet, it also resides in acknowledging the fractures within one’s heart, the drought of your inner river, and the bittersweet reality of impermanence. Why not allow the salty taste of one’s tears, the passionate rush of internal fire led by anger, or the intimacy of skin meeting skin?
Sensuality, for me, is an evolving essence. With growth comes spaciousness, slowness, and grace. These elements, in turn, elevate the wisdom of my body. Spirituality becomes an embodiment etched into my flesh, intertwined into organs, bringing functionality to life.
In the grand gesture of existence, we are insignificant and infinite. Nothing and Everything. “As Above, so Below” an Egyptian proverb.
To you, dear reader, I extend love.
Take a moment, let these words settle within. Light a candle, and in its flickering glow, send gratitude for the mere fact that you are here.
